“What do you do when the heroine is trained?”
Someone threw me off with this question. Because training a heroine is not like training a dog. Or training to run a marathon. There is no end date, or goal, or final event. Being a heroine means being a work in progress. Forever. We are constantly growing and improving and learning, and what ever would we do if we weren’t?
Today I’d like to talk about the idea of “being ready”.
I thought, I’ll do a TED talk when I’m ready. I’ll pitch myself to the 5AM Miracle Podcast when I’m ready. I’ll get out of bed and write that blog post when I’m ready.
But what does being ready mean?
We think of our future heroine selves as this complete, ideal picture that will be us one day, magically. Sort of like transitioning from middle school to high school – especially as a kid who grew up watching Grease, who therefore developed unrealistic expectations of what teenagers look like by about a decade. There is no fixed turning point in which you suddenly become an adult and feel like one, just as you don’t wake up one day as a fully formed heroine. What does that even mean?
Sometimes we don’t believe in ourselves because of our self-confidence.
How does that work? Health is a great example. I know that I can have healthier habits and be more physically fit, because I have in the past. So I’m not striving for an ideal, I’m striving for my ideal. Because of my confidence that I can be better, I’m not ready to claim that I’m my best.
Sometimes embracing body positivity and striving for healthier habits can feel like a contradiction. It’s frustrating when I’m not aiming for an impossible standard. I’m aiming for my standard, which I know that I’m not currently meeting.
Can I really be proud of who I am if I know that I am not being my best?
Yes. It seems so obvious to me that the answer is yes, and yet it is so hard to actually believe. Not loving oneself does not always mean a lack of confidence. Sometimes it is an indicator OF confidence, belief that we can do and be better. Sometimes loving yourself the way you are feels like settling for imperfection. Sometimes self improvement feels like it has to come from a place of dissatisfaction with the present.
For some of us, the mantra “I am enough” feels like defeat. Sometimes it makes me go “but…but…I can be more! I don’t want to settle!”
Here’s an idea: Love yourself as a work in progress.
Love yourself for trying, even the tiniest bit. Even if you don’t feel like your best self right now, one day when you do, you’ll still be a work in progress. I mean that in the best, most exciting kind of way possible.
This is why, when you enroll in my courses, you get access forever, and can join in every year. Our work moves us forward, but it is never complete. If you would like to celebrate ourselves together, as works in progress and heroines in training, I hope that you’ll join me in Lumos Your Life, a course about lighting up your daily rituals and finding your magical mission. You can read more here.