a poem

I’m swollen with happiness
floaty and cheerful
probably pink
But it only takes a pinprick —
a micro-reminder —
Not everyone is okay.
I pop
Sorry for my self-indulgence,
Blob.

It’s worse right now but all the time true
I value Depression — an overcorrection?
Too often too cautious of being okay.

We must feel what we feel, in grief and in joy
So deep breath here goes fill me up
go on go ahead!
Maybe it’s a rollercoaster instead
Not one or the other, instead all together
Moving and looping, where is the line
between fear and delight
Doesn’t matter —
What I feel is alive
Enjoy its surprise.

P.S. Last week I published my first quarantine essay, We Hold the World Together.

P.P.S. I’m so grateful for Matana and her podcast, Hope to Recharge, for the space to talk about my experience with depression. My interview episode is called Relieving Depression Through Fiction.