I don’t have a big dream and that’s okay.

Chapter

Nov 16 2015

Gold Tape

I don't have a big dream and that's okay.

The big dream: something you want more than anything and you’re certain of it, something that would change your life like a port key transporting you to exactly where you want to be.

For me that dream came true when I was 19 years old (which I discuss in my book). Now what?

Most of us don’t have a big dream. We yearn to find this thing called ‘purpose’, a thing I’m not sure exists the way we imagine it. ‘Why was I put on this earth’ is a pretty big question. Let’s cut ourselves some slack.

Instead, let’s say I’m waltzing around a Regency ballroom.

Not having a big dream doesn’t mean you’re not ambitious. In fact, it can be harder sometimes, because we are not able to break a big thing down into small steps and feel our progress as we inch towards it.

Instead of taking baby steps towards a goal, let’s say I am waltzing around a Regency ballroom. (Metaphorically, because I have yet to learn the waltz. Yet.) Right now I am fortunate enough to be in control of whether my perfect day happens. I love my home, my work, my Monkey. My big dream is more of a maintenance of my ideal lifestyle: living mindfully, doing what I can do help make a difference, and enjoying a string of micropleasures along the way.

My dream

My dream is to feel energetic and strong, to eat yummy food and to be in good company. To be inspired by the arts, and become invested in stories. To be happy. Sometimes this is a big ask. Big enough to make it just as difficult to strive for as it was for me to strive for my big dream. Sometimes even more difficult.

Sure, there are some bigger things that I want. I would love to travel in Asia, or to have my office in a castle (I’m serious). These are not life-defining goals, though, and I don’t have enough intuitive drive pushing me towards them at the cost of anything else. You can’t just summon that stuff arbitrarily – I can’t, anyway – it has to come from that mysterious rumbling inner place that declares it a personal mission.

My big dream is to live magically, as the heroine of my day every day. There is no end to it, no finish line with a prize waiting for me to collect. It is instead assessed and potentially achieved in each moment, making it all the more difficult and more simple all at once.

What is your dream, whatever the size?

xandra-signature

P.S. why I don’t set climbing goals either…

Play Audiobook

Be my pen pal!