Saving Myself

Vignette

May 17 2019

Gold Tape


content warning: depression

I heard that it’s mental health awareness week.

I mean to look up these kinds of weeks so I’m ready to contribute.

When I was diagnosed with severe depression in 2014, my very first thought was this: if I can get through this, I can write about it, and maybe that can help someone else.

I’m doing much better now.

But nearly a year ago, I wrote about mental health because I felt like I needed to. Even though it hurt. A woman I admired committed suicide, and I wanted to say something. Writing that essay nearly killed me.

This week, I want to say something, but am better acquainted with my own mental health. Sometimes I’m up for speaking, and sometimes I must wait.

Usually when I say to be your own heroine, I mean to live your story in your own way. Today, I am reminded of another meaning of heroine – one who saves people. Today being my own heroine means saving myself.

In attempting to bow out of saying something, I suppose I’ve said something after all.
👑

Xandra
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