To dream is a vulnerable act. Our greatest desires are precious, sometimes fragile – because we care so much about them. Sometimes, what comes in the way of articulating of what we want, is a fear that others won’t get it.
I’ve spent the past month listening to other people process my breakup. Even for an event so personal to me, I noticed that everyone responds through the lens of their own experiences. After all, what choice do we have? It’s the most accessible way to connect. Sometimes it does feel like connection; other times it feels jarring, when someone makes this moment in my life about them (or about another couple they knew, distantly, who broke up too, and that’s about all there is in common).
My learning from these reactions is that we all see the world through our own experiences. It is what we are most qualified to do. We are ourselves, after all. With practice, we can know ourselves best. My belief is this: you do what’s best for you. I do what’s best for me. We can trust each other, to make those choices as individuals.
Perhaps you, like I, have a learned habit of trying to put others first. Start this year by putting your desires higher on your list of priorities. Preferably at the top! Understand what YOU want first, before you understand how to explain it to someone else. Remember, even if you do tell someone, they don’t have to fully get it. Because YOU get it. And that’s what matters.
Until the Next Chapter,
Call to Adventure:
For one minute, practice letting go of the need for your dream to be understood.
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